She stood at the altar tears falling down her cheeks. She could barely utter a single word. As she looked at her bouquet of flowers she could not help but wonder how a person who promised you the world could be so cruel. Njeri had for the longest time been in love with Mutuku. She struggled to compose herself as her wedding guests stared at her with both pity and wonder. Some though seemed quite ecstatic about the events of the day. It is funny how so many people are eager to see you fail in the midst of chaos.

After a moment of confusion, Njeri collapsed on the stairs at the altar and let out a sharp cry. She could not bear the pain and anguish. Her mother and aunt rushed by her side as they tried to pick her up and console her. She fought them hard as she no longer had the strength to walk past her guests to the outside of the church. The embarrassment was just too much. She could hear her heart fragment into tiny pieces she could barely collect. She felt alone and rejected. Mutuku had burnt her and the scars would take years to heal. He raised her up just to turn around and tear her down. She used to have a smile around her face and now all she was experiencing were tears. Her life had quickly turned from blue skies to just feeling blue. He had promised to never walk away from her but all she felt now was that she was a fool.

She had given the better part of her life to Mutuku to the point of neglecting her family and friends. He had left with a huge chunk of her and she didn’t know if she would ever get it back. She was stranded and lost and just like that everything she held dear was taken from her in an instance. She fell and he was not there to carry her. The world is a cruel place and at the end of it all, all you can do is fight for your happiness because no one else can do it for you. Colors are there to create clarity of facts and Njeri had just learnt this the hard way. Mutuku was elsewhere in bliss while she was at the church remembering about the good old days. Her reality was too jaded for her to grasp the realities of the day. Words could not even begin to describe what she was going through.

Njeri felt like Mutuku was a funnel that had sifted the finest pieces of her heart and left it paralyzed and she wondered if she would ever feel it beat again. She remembered how her eyes would light up every time she saw Mutuku. The truth is, her eyes were like a mirror that reflected the sunbeams in her heart. Mutuku had done what she had dreaded all her life. He had kept her just long enough to forget the one he truly loves. He had taken her cracked fragile hurt and shattered it to tiny pieces that would never be remoulded without leaving behind permanent marks.

Njeri like most of her family and friends would attest had a trail of love misfortunes attached to her. There was a history of heart breaks tucked in the creases of her eyes, a museum of the moments that she had watched pass her by, and each tear that escaped her held the things that she had left unsaid, so the words she’d never unspoken, stained her dampened cheeks instead. The crevices of her insecurities that she had laid bare for Mutuku to see and he had promised to accept were now all she could think about. Snapshots of her life kept flushing across her mind as she wondered what if he had struck her with a knife instead of leaving her; would she ever have learnt that people do not die because of wounds inflicted by others? Would she ever know that people die when they forget that they are more than the pain?

To be continued…

Watch out for part 2

Copyrights © 2018 Eva Mwangi


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