Sometimes I go through phases where I just feel like giving up and walking away from everything. The frustration just gets to me and I feel so lost in a country that celebrates darkness instead of light. My heart is filled with scars from the broken pieces of my persona that I have acquired over the years. Our country is filled with self-centered individuals that will do anything to get whatever it is they are after.  They would sell your soul to the devil just to get a glimpse of wealth. It is at this juncture that I find myself writing this.

How do you describe pain when you can barely utter a single word?

How do you write about cruelty when you cannot hold a pen?

How do you heal when all that surrounds you is blood?

How do you embrace life when death is all you see?

Ever gotten to a point in your life where…

Where you feel like suicide is the only option left?

Where you feel like a tornado has finally hit you?

Where your life seems like a mirage?

Where flames only illuminate your heart aches?

Where a storm is constantly hovering over you?

Where the sound of bullets excites you?

Where a hug no longer comforts you?

Where a smile is no longer a rainbow of aspiration?

Where your tears could fill a dry well?

Where God seems to have abandoned you?

Where sun shine is a distant memory?

Where the moon no longer brightens your dark night?

Where solutions seem to be non-existent but problems are readily available?

Where jealousy reigns your life and happiness flees you?

Where tragedy seems to be stuck on you like a catchy song lyric?

Where swimming every ocean seems like a walk through the park?

Where climbing every mountain seems like a little price to pay?

Where hope has fled you like a prey running from its predator?

Where stars no longer shine in your world?

Where thunderstorms are the only sounds you can relate to?

Where joy is a blast from the past?

Where you are just making a living instead of living?

Where you would choose a foreign land over your motherland?

Where ambition has deserted you and despair has taken over?

Where the voice of reason has been replaced by senselessness?

Where mediocrity is all you see and genuineness is buried deep in the sea?

Where the light is leaving your eyes and darkness is slowly and steadily replacing it?

Where nothing no longer spurs fire in you?

Where you can feel the shards of your broken heart falling?

Where hate embraces you and love cowers in fear?

Where crawling through gravel awakens your failing senses?

Where being fake beats being real?

Where love is hidden in the land of the forgotten?


You will never understand the power of water when it is standing still. But most importantly, you are a crayon because you are a shade of so many colors.  And the best thing to note is that broken crayons still color.

Copyrights © 2019 Eva Mwangi

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