SHADES OF AGONY

He looked ahead and all he could see was sadness. His head lying on the wall pondering on what he would do next. He had been taught for years to hide the way he feels but this time he let himself feel the pain. Tears of agony cascading down his masculine face. How is a man supposed to act when the love of his life just ripped his heart into pieces? The memories of the times they shared kept flooding back. The glass he held in his hand slowly slipping away. His thoughts lost deep in the sea. Why did she have to go? Why now? This is not fair. He thought to himself. Life had hit him hard a couple of times but this time the knockout was too powerful for him to get back up. He fathomed whether to fight back or just let go and let sorrow reign his life. Why did such a beautiful soul leave him? What will he do now without her? The depths of his sub conscience was whispering slowly to him that he will be fine and life would go on but his heart was on a whole other battle. How do you put back an egg that has already been cracked? He thought of her and remembered the smile on her face every time he would cook her favorite dish ugali, sukumawiki and beef. Her eyes would light up as she gobbled down the food like someone who had not seen food in decades. His mind was troubled and the memories just made the pain worse.

He stood up and walked towards the door, but his legs seemed not to have the strength to carry him. He was weak and despite putting in the effort to walk, the agony he felt could not let him walk. This time God had really put him to the test. His faith was hanging by a thread. He was treading on thin ice and scathing it away would not be hard. His belief in God had been shaken and at this point the devil could easily manipulate him. He thought about the first time Talia had invited him to church. The choir sang with such heavenly voices and the preacher brought the word home. He was a great teacher and as he spoke any non believer would have been convinced that being saved is the best thing that can happen in your life. Frank at this point watched Talia glow with joy as she shouted “AMEN” to the pastor’s words. He could not help but wonder where such a beautiful soul had been hiding all his life. Just as he thought that Talia was back in his life, reality struck him as he hit the coffee table and fell on the floor. He let out a small moan as he whispered “My love please come back.”

To be continued…

By Eva Mwangi

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