A TORMENTED SOUL

How Do You Explain a Storm You Can’t Even Name???

It’s Like Drowning in Air,

Like Your Mind Is Speaking a Language No One Not Even You Can Translate.

The Chaos Wears Your Face in Public,

But Behind Your Eyes It’s Tearing the Walls Down,

And The Silence It Leaves Is Louder Than Any Scream You’ve Ever Heard.

And The Worst Part???

You Don’t Know If the Storm Came to Break You or To Burn Everything That’s Killing You.

And Maybe That’s The Same Thing,

Maybe It Must Tear You Apart to Take the Poison with It,

Storms Don’t Ask If You’re Ready,

They Rip the Roof Off Your Life and Leave You Standing in The Wreckage,

Naked,

Shivering,

And Forced to See What Was Worth Keeping,

And What Was Rotting You from The Inside Out.

They Said I Handled It Well,

But I Didn’t…

I Broke in Ways Words Can’t Hold,

I Dragged Myself Through Days That I Felt Like Drowning with Open Eyes,

I Laughed Just Enough to Keep Suspicion Away,

I Showed Up When I Wanted to Disappear,

I Gave Answers When I Didn’t Even Understand My Own Questions,

I Screamed in Silence and Made Pain Look Poetic.

I Am Tired in Ways Sleep Can’t Fix,

Tired Of Holding Pieces That Don’t Fit Anymore,

My Body Moves but My Soul Has Long Stopped Crying,

I Wear My Strength Like a Costume Now,

Smiling At the World While Inside I Am Unravelling,

Slowly I’m Becoming a Ghost in My Own Life,

Fading While the World Keeps Moving.

I Am Tired of Conversations That End in Silence,

I Wake Up Each Day, But It Feels Less and Less Like Living and More Like Waiting,

I Am Tired of Reaching Out and Finding Nothing,

Mostly I Am Tired of Myself…

For Still Hoping, When I Should Have Let Go Long Ago.

I Swallowed My Feelings Whole…

Until Silence Became the Only Language I Trusted,

And Wore Strength Like Borrowed Skin,

I Didn’t Win,

I Endured,

And sometimes…

Survival Is Enduring What Was Never Meant to Be Survived.

Remember;

The Hardest Part of Living Is Pretending You’re Not Already Fading Inside.

Copyrights © 2025 Eva Mwangi