The answer to this question is really hard to find because the truth is each woman is different and what is important to one woman may not be necessary to the other. I think though that there may be some basic qualities that all women might agree on then again who am I to say that I really know what women want. People’s desire in a life partner are shaped by what they may have experienced from childhood up to their current age in different aspects of their journey. A woman might decide to never date a guy from a particular race, tribe, church, religion and so on because in the past things may not have worked out with people from that particular segment or they worked out and ended up really sour. The truth is, every human being has a set of core standards that they may not be able to live without because of how they have decided to live their life. In my opinion, I think there are some key signals you should generally look out for before deciding on the guy you want to possibly settle down with. Lets get it clear that these are just my views and you might feel differently. So please don’t take this too personally because they are my own personal opinions and I’m not really attacking anyone. I’m just trying to help out some ladies who may be struggling with some basic aspects on what to look for in a future life partner. Some of the things I think you should look out for are:

  1. A Man Who Respects Women

This involves finding out and observing how he treats females in general. Does he respect his mother and sisters? Does he get along with them? Does he speak well or badly about women? All these are essential because chances are that if he treats the closest women around him like his mother, sisters, female cousins and so on badly, he may also do it to you. The first woman a man interacts with is the mother and if he doesn’t get along with her then you may definitely have severe problems ahead.

  1. His Believe In God, Any Superior Power or In Any Religion For That Matter

If you are a christian, a God-fearing man is part of what you want in a potential life partner. Hence you should find out early enough how he feels about this issue. If you are not a christian and you believe in other forms of religions, then you should find out if he feels the same. Be it a hindu, muslim, japanese or so on, all these religions do believe in something and they have their own code of conduct. What he believes in is important because it sets out the kind of man he is in regard to his character. His values and principles will be mostly drawn from his religion so pay attention to this.

  1. His Views On Marriage And Commitment

Lets face it, a man who could care less about marriage or long-term commitment is the wrong man to settle for if you are looking for a life partner. If he tells you he doesn’t believe in marriage and that commitment is some kind of BS created by the society to trap men, then girl you should run as far as your feet can carry you. Just because you are the most beautiful, intelligent, loyal, best cook in the kitchen and bedroom and many other great qualities, if he doesn’t believe in the institution, then you can do nothing to change that.  Believe him when he says he does not want to get married or just be hooked to one woman.  A man who values marriage and commitment as much as you is what you want in a life partner. Stop lying to yourself that you can change him. A man will only change when he wants to and if he does decide to change, he will do it for only one woman and that is “The One” so please get that in your head.

  1. His Views On Family And Children

If you aspire a life partner whom you can build a home with and possibly have children with, finding out if he feels the same way is really important.  There are people who have no plans of having children so please ask this question. Do you want to have kids in future or any time soon? His answer should tell you if he is the life partner you want or not. This is a great conversation at the start of the relationship. It can be done on phone by either a call or via text.  It helps you establish if there is some kind of potential with the guy for a long-term relationship. Also, if family time is important to you, please find out if he has the same priorities. For some people there is nothing worse like spending time with family. This is a problem for you because it means once you make your own family he won’t be present most of the times to help you raise the children.

  1. His Plans For The Future

You really need to know what this guy is all about. Is he at the moment also searching for a life partner? Is he just looking for a play thing? His plan will tell you where he is headed and if he has space to accommodate a woman in his life. If in all his plans he fails to mention family and children, my sister you are screwed. Just run for the hills. A man searching for a woman to spend the rest of his life with has definitely put a thought into it and actually accommodates her somewhere in his plans even though she is absent at the moment. He might say something like “I have accomplished a lot and all I’m looking for now is someone to share it with.” This is a green light that may be he is the man for you because he clearly wants what you are also looking for. As he tells you his plans you should also be asking yourself if you want to be a part of it or not. If your answer is yes you want to be a part of it, then you should figure out how you fit into it and how you can help him get there.

  1. His Expectations On What A Life Time Partner Should Be

The truth is, every guy has a list of what he would want in a future spouse. We commonly refer to it as “wife material.” This term is highly used and commands different views from different people. I mean, is it some kind of material you buy somewhere and measure? Is it a book on the qualities a wife should have? What really is “wife material?” I think the term is relative and different people feel different on what kind of woman should be a wife or not. What is important to one guy may not be so important to another guy. One guy may want a highly educated woman while another prefers a high school drop out. These two men will marry but what they consider important in a wife varies to some degree. Thus, just know what you want first then find out what he wants and see if the both of you are compatible or not.

By Eva Mwangi


  1. well said….but above all he has to be someone close to you….your best friend….thsts my opinion


    1. I agree darling. I forgot to include that. I was trying to relay a general perspective that everyone might be able to relate to and agree on.


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