DISCERNING SPIRIT

I Learned to Read Moods Like Weather,

To Notice Footsteps, Breathing, Shifts in Tone Before Words Ever Came,

To Analyze Subtext,

To Read Silence,

I Studied People the Way Others Studied Books,

Silence Became My Safety,

Observation My Weapon.

I Trained Myself to Survive and Not Live,

To Translate My Needs into Insight,

I Buried My Emotions So Deep That Now Even Joy Can’t Find Me,

I Mastered the Art of Hiding Collapse,

Because Expressing Need Was Always Met with Chaos or Dismissal.

My Anger Kept Erupting Because I Was Hurt And No One Cared Enough to Ask Why,

My Sadness Kept Lingering Because I Was the Echo of Love I Needed but Never Got,

My Fear Kept Running the Show Because I Was Still Waiting to Feel Safe.

Maybe My Anger Was Proof That I Stopped Swallowing Myself,

I Tiptoed Through Rooms That Should Have Been Safe,

I Carried Their Chaos Like It Was Mine,

I Realized Silence Was Cheaper Than Asking for Love,

I Grew Small to Keep Their Storms Calm,

I Carry the Weight of Unspoken Words,

But My Anger Learnt to Speak.

Now I Bleed on People Who Didn’t Even Cut Me,

And Suddenly …

I Became the Person Who Takes Forever to Reply,

Who Enjoys Solitude,

Who Disappears When the Energy Feels Off,

And Doesn’t Mind If We Stop Talking,

I’m Not Quiet Because I Have Nothing to Say,

I’m Quiet Because I Already Know.

I Knew You Before You Even Spoke.

I’m Not at Peace but Rather I’m Still.

The Fluency, The Insight and The Calmness…All Came at A Cost.

Remember

We Romanticize the Stars but Forget the Dark Is What Makes Them Visible.

Copyrights © 2026 Eva Mwangi